Boozer did what I did in sixth grade

Apparently Carlos Boozer did not break his hand in the manner he claimed to have broke it.  Boozer claimed he fell over a gym bag or some such nonsense, but in fact his injury is what is known as a “boxer’s fracture” which means he really broke his hand punching something and he’s embarrassed and is lying about it.

The funny thing is I did the exact same thing in sixth grade.  And my lie got exposed even worse.

One cold October morning in the fall of my sixth grade class year I got in a fight on the playground.  I have no idea why, the guy was one of my friends.  But sometimes you just have to fight.  Anyway, I broke my hand on his grape.

It hurt like a bitch, and I was pretty certain almost immediately that it was broken.  But I tried to hide it until football practice, because I knew if I told people it happened during a playground fight I’d never hear the end of the lectures (“What are you doing fighting??  You got what you deserved!”)

So I waited until football practice and then I claimed I broke it blocking someone.  Or I actually can’t remember what I claimed but I know I lamely claimed I broke it during football.  I wanted the sympathy, not the scorn.

I can’t remember how long my ruse lasted, but I remember full well who ended it.  My family doctor.  I remember him asking me several times how I broke it.  After hearing the same lie several times, he showed the X-ray and explained that what I had was called a “boxer’s fracture” (its a fracture right below the knuckle) and he further explained that I could not possibly have broken it the way I claimed to have broken it.  The sweat broke out on my forehead.  The  gig was up, so I confessed.  Ohhhh, people were sooooo disappointed in me! (I felt vindicated in that sense… the reaction I got was precisely the one I predicted I would get and the one I tried to avoid with my canard)

Looking back, I have no idea why the doctor called me out.  What possible difference could it have made to him how I broke my hand?  Who knows?  But, he felt he had to do it.  Actually, he was a pretty decent guy, so I hold no grudges.

But the point of this post is, I can sympathize with Boozer’s bullshit.  He’s lucky, though.  At least the Bulls are being cool about it and not requiring him to fess up to what really happened.

I wish I would have gotten the same courtesy from my doctor when I was in the sixth grade.

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One Response to “Boozer did what I did in sixth grade”

  1. Devin Dignam Says:

    Of course, he’s now denying that possibility:

    http://sports.espn.go.com/chicago/nba/news/story?id=5677742

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